You get invited to various events and social outings, or you may want to take a specialized class or trip, etc throughout your life. Then the question becomes, which ones do you choose to attend, and which ones do you pass on for now? What criteria do you use to make a wise decision? What is your decision based on?
The obvious optimal solution would be to have an invisible clairvoyant personal assistant that knows exactly what would be best for you and it could make perfect decisions that would be in your best interest! Haha! Since I haven’t met my optimum prime assistant yet, I have come up with some other more helpful pointers.
If you are like me, you may occasionally find yourself in a less than pleasant situation before realizing that you did not make a very wise choice (That Damn Hindsight is 20-20!).
I have learned that before I make a decision, it can be very helpful to employ the following Mindful strategies to help me make the wisest decision.
Most times, a quick decision may not be the best one! Unless you are on the stand, or some other urgent situation, you usually do NOT have to give your answer that minute. Tell the person(s) you will get back to them with your answer later , or bookmark this event on your computer to look at at greater length when you have more time.
Let the question of whether you want or need to go germinate in your being without needing to come up with an answer. No pressure. You don’t have to think about it or worry about it. Just be patient and know that eventually, your preference will emerge in your being via thoughts, feelings, or physical sensations.
Do not and I repeat – NOT commit to or agree to any decision out of guilt.
Sometimes I find that when I am in people-pleasing mode, or I want to make up for not being there for someone, (or whatever my guilty side is feeling) I will offer to do things with this person(s) that I REALLY do NOT want to do. This is a recipe for a miserable time!
How do I feel beforehand when I think about going?
Pose this question to yourself beforehand and feel your body’s physical reaction. Does it feel relaxed or a little energized? If so, that is a “Go!” Does it tighten up, or feel really heavy, or does a surge of anxiety hit your body? If so, that is a definite ‘Do NOT go!”
Is this Aligned with my Highest Good?
Sometimes we choose to do something that we really do NOT want to do because it is aligned with our highest good (like exercising or meditating). Or, perhaps it is a needed step towards some future desired outcome (like an educational class)? If it is aligned with your highest good, your values, and other resources line up – Go!
How will I feel afterwards if I do or do NOT do this?
Pose these two questions to your imagination and then feel what sensations comes up: How will I feel afterwards if I have attended the event? How will I feel afterwards if I have not attended the event? Let your sensations be your guide.
Life is short and getting shorter every day! If it is a true passion, you will feel good and fortunate afterwards.
What do I REALLY Want?
When my 28-year old daughter uttered these words to me out loud recently, I decided she was a flipping genius – way ahead of her time! She said she is practicing asking herself regularly “what do I really want?, and letting the answer to this question help her make her decisions.
Ask the deepest part of you, your inner adult – what it really wants and needs right now? By doing so, you will invite your authentic life essence to direct your life, and not your scared, insecure self or your inner spoiled brat!
Do you do something else that is not mentioned here to help you make wise decisions? If so, I would love to hear about them.